The ladies over at Jezebel—and honorary Jezzie Alex Goldberg—aren't afraid of showing a little skin. In fact, they're brave enough to document pouring their fair and bruised flesh Ed. Note: Unless Traci "Slut Machine" Egan is secretly on some womens' field hockey team, she has some explaining to do into some of American Apparel's most offensive, unflattering outfits—all for our benefit (read: amusement).
Behold, the cut-away unitards! The lamé tube dresses! Tights in colors combinations rarely found outside a Wes Anderson movie! Their discovery proves what most of us already knew in our hearts: American Apparel clothes only look good on spread-eagled 14-year-olds with desperation in their eyes.