The Hills, As Told to Letterman by Heidi

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Budding fashion star Heidi Montag is getting good at this whole press thing. Wednesday night she did her best to verse David Letterman on her side of The Hills' complicated back story, and Dave, channeling his inner 21-year-old Valley Girl, soaked it all up from the edge of his seat. Asking (rightly!) about the lopsidedness of Lauren Conrad's standing as the show's narrator, Dave wondered at the injustice. Heidi happily agreed: "'Cause if it were my show, then she'd be the villain and it'd be, like, last week on The Hills Lauren tried to ruin my relationship with my boyfriend and blame her sex tape on me." It totally would be like that! She added a small bit of advice for LC: "I think she should focus on her own life for a minute, you know, and try and get her own boyfriend." Of course, she totally should do that. Totally. She should totally, totally do that.