Leah Messer Reveals Suicidal Thoughts: 'I Didn't Want To Be Alive'

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Oct. 3 2017, Updated 12:35 p.m. ET

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Leah Messer hit rock bottom when she lost custody of her twin daughters, divorced from her second husband and was accused of abusing drugs. On this week's Teen Mom 2, she admitted that she contemplated suicide during her downward spiral.

On last week's episode, Messer got stage fright during a motivational speaking gig. But she didn't quit, as she booked a second speaking engagement. On last week's episode, Messer got stage fright during a motivational speaking gig. But she didn't quit, as she booked a second speaking engagement.

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"The last event I was so out of my element," she admitted. "I just want to make a difference, that's my passion. I've been pushed down to the ground a couple of times and then stomped on and ran over. I felt suicidal at one point. I didn't want to be alive. I was that girl who had daddy issues."

Although Messer appeared nervous, she quickly got comfortable in front of the crowd.

"My childhood wasn't the best and then I had my own kids and it was like, 'I'm responsible for not just one, but two little ones.' I didn't know what I was doing you guys," she said. "I had no idea what I was doing, but I just tried to be the best mom I could be at all times. I hit rock bottom, I didn't know my worth. Today I stand in my power. I know my worth."

She then had the audience write their fears down and burn the paper.

"Anytime you think of it, tell yourselves, 'I let it go,'" she said. "I let that fear go. I'm not going to fear failure. I'm not going to fear rejection... Stand in your own power every single day."

The speech was a success, as attendees told her it they felt more confident.

Kailyn Lowry didn't give up on her dreams either, as she finally graduated college after six years.

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But her big day wasn't drama free, as none of her three baby daddiesJo RiveraJavi Marroquin and Chris Lopez – attended the ceremony.

"Jo and Javi both asked me to come to my graduation weeks ago, now all of a sudden nobody," she complained. "Chris, he's my baby daddy, but I would still want him here."

She also admitted that her estranged mother and other family members are not attending.

"What the f**k am I going to reach out to her for?" she said of her mom. "I'm her daughter she should reach out to me!"

During the ceremony, Lowry asked a fellow student, "You think Chris is here? I just want to know if he showed up."

But fortunately for Lowry, she had her sons Isaac, 7, and Lincoln, 3, cheering her on in the crowd.

Also on the episode, Briana DeJesus brought her daughter Stella home from the hospital. Although her baby daddy Luis Hernandez was with her, he didn't provide much help.

"He doesn't do anything, he hasn't done much," DeJesus complained. "He still hasn't changed a diaper. It is tough being a mom of two."

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When Hernandez revealed that he is waiting a few months before going to truck school because he wants to spend more time with Stella, DeJesus' mother Roxanne went off on him.

"You're a f**king loser bro," she slammed.

DeJesus then fired, "You haven't done nothing financially, nothing. You've known about this baby for a long time. If you was a grown man you would've been out already. You would've been done with the trucking thing the moment you found out I was pregnant. I don't know what the f**k you're waiting for. You have two kids, your 31 years old and you have nothing."

Hernandez then left in the middle of the night.

As for Jenelle Evans, she prepared her house for her wedding day and went dress shopping in New York City. During the planning, she revealed that no one from her family is invited.

"My mom's not going to be there to put on my dress," she said. "My dad's not going to be there to walk me down the aisle."

The wedding snub brought her motherBarbara to tears.

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"She's not speaking to me because I won't give her back Jace," she said. "If I'm not wanted at this wedding I'm not going to go there... They're going to ignore me and be mean. I've already lost her, she's already gone. There is no relationship there. She is so mean to me."

Also on the episode, Chelsea Houska got her son Watson vaccinated. Although her baby daddy Adam Lind often left her disappointed when it came to their daughterAubree, herhusband Cole DeBoer left work to be there for the appointment.

Teen Mom 2 airs Mondays at 10/9c on MTV.

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