‘Canada Will Never Be A Safe Haven For Zombies,’ Assures ‘Dead-Icated’ Minister Of Foreign Affairs

Landov
Landov

Canadians can finally sleep easy with the knowledge that they are safe from a zombie attack!

Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird made the official announcement to the House Of Commons that his countrymen need not live in fear anymore as zombies are not welcome north of the border, RadarOnline.com is reporting.

The living dead issue came to the forefront of Wednesday’s debate when Canadian Member of Parliament Pat Martin asked if Baird is: “working with his American counterparts to develop an international zombie strategy so that a zombie invasion does not turn into a zombie apocalypse?”

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Luckily the Minister of Foreign Affairs was ready for the curveball question and confidently replied, “I want to assure the members and all Canadians that I am ‘dead-icated’ to ensuring that this never happens,” said Baird, reported NPR.

“I want to say categorically to this member, and through him to all Canadians, that under the leadership of this prime minister, Canada will never become a safe haven for zombies, ever!”

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His heartfelt response will no doubt quell concerns among citizens that on the brink of a “continent-wide pandemic” spreading up from the U.S.,  because “zombies don’t recognize borders,” according to Martin.

The grisly discussion came in the wake of a week filled with zombie news with the return of AMC’s cult classic drama The Walking Dead on  Sunday.

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Then on Monday, a false alert reached around 10 stations in Montana, Michigan, California, Utah and New Mexico warning viewers that there were “dead bodies rising from the grave and attacking the living” and people should act with caution, according to the the Great Falls Tribune.

Thankfully – and not surprisingly! – the Emergency Alert System warning was a hoax,  and now the FBI and the FCC are investigating the cases that are believed to have originated overseas.

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Hoax or not, America does have its own zombie preparedness plan and the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta, Georgia, has released several of its own zombie warnings.

“If you are generally well equipped to deal with a zombie apocalypse you will be prepared for a hurricane, pandemic, earthquake, or terrorist attack,” assures Dr. Ali Khan on the CDC website.

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