An insider revealed to RadarOnline.com in September that the 24-year-old wasn’t being treated for drug-related problems (though she's been rumored to in the past) — but more so for her lupus diagnosis and depression.
"Tours are a really lonely place for me," Gomez told Vogue. "My self-esteem was shot. I was depressed, anxious. I started to have panic attacks right before getting onstage, or right after leaving the stage. Basically I felt I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t capable. I felt I wasn’t giving my fans anything, and they could see it — which, I think, was a complete distortion."
"I was so used to performing for kids. At concerts I used to make the entire crowd raise up their pinkies and make a pinky promise never to allow anybody to make them feel that they weren’t good enough," she added. "Suddenly I have kids smoking and drinking at my shows, people in their 20s, 30s, and I’m looking into their eyes, and I don’t know what to say. I couldn’t say, 'Everybody, let’s pinky-promise that you’re beautiful!' It doesn’t work that way, and I know it because I’m dealing with the same s**t they’re dealing with. What I wanted to say is that life is so stressful, and I get the desire to just escape it. But I wasn’t figuring my own stuff out, so I felt I had no wisdom to share. And so maybe I thought everybody out there was thinking, This is a waste of time."
From there, Gomez entered a treatment program for 90 days, trading touring and her cellphone for group therapy with young women.
"You have no idea how incredible it felt to just be with six girls," she said of the experience, "real people who couldn’t give two s***s about who I was, who were fighting for their lives. It was one of the hardest things I’ve done, but it was the best thing I’ve done."
Gomez made her big return to the spotlight at the American Music Awards in November, receiving ample support from Taylor Swift squad members throughout the glamorous evening.
Now, the singer sees a therapist five days a week, concentrating on Dialectical Behavior Therapy, a technique "developed to treat borderline personality disorder that is now used more broadly, with its emphasis on improving communication, regulating emotions, and incorporating mindfulness practices," according to Vogue.
"DBT has completely changed my life," Gomez shared. "I wish more people would talk about therapy. We girls, we're taught to be almost too resilient, to be strong and sexy and cool and laid-back, the girl who's down. We also need to feel allowed to fall apart."
But could Selena's new relationship with The Weeknd threaten the progress she's made thus far? RadarOnline.com readers know Gomez's family and friends are more worried than ever about her post-rehab, since her new boyfriend has openly admitted to being a heavy drug user.
"Selena's next spiral is going to be less concealed, and even harder to recover from," an insider told RadarOnline.com.
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