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Mel B Reveals Chilling Suicide Attempt Where She Took Nearly 200 Painkillers

Nov. 18 2018, Updated 1:36 p.m. ET

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Mel B has relived trying to kill herself over marriage hell in her new memoir, Brutally Honest. But Radar reported on it first, as according to the singer’s no-holds-barred declaration in a Los Angeles court filing last year, she claimed her husband Stephen Belafonte's’s alleged abuse and “mind-games” became so “overwhelming” in December 2014, that she swallowed a whole bottle of painkiller Aspirin in “in a moment of emotional and physical exhaustion.”

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Now, Mel is telling the story in her new tell all and explosive excerpts have been published in Britain's Sun on Sunday. Fans of the Spice Girl and The X Factor UK and America's Got Talent judge will be horrified by Mel's revelations.

Mel B, now 43, has written that on December 11, 2014, during the live X Factor shows, she tried to take her own life by downing 200 painkillers. The star blacked out and woke up covered in bruises.

She couldn't do the show that night and was replaced as judge on the British reality show for the Saturday semi-finals that night. The next night, she appeared for the Sunday live X Factor finale in a dress which revealed her injuries. Mel blamed a stomach ulcer.

But now, in her book, Mel has told the terrifying truth that she could have died.

In Brutally Honest, Mel recalled that suicidal night, "holding an open bottle of aspirin from the stash I’ve stockpiled over the years, putting one pill after another into my mouth. "As each pill goes into my mouth, I ask myself: 'Are you sure?' And I take another one. Ten, 20, 50, 100. 'Are you sure?'” The incident occurred after Mel came back from dinner with her husband, Stephen Belafonte.

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"My life is a mess and I want out," Mel wrote in her book. She continued taking pills: "One hundred and 20. 'Are you sure?' 150. 'Are you sure?' "Behind the glitter of fame, I felt emotionally battered, estranged from my family.

"I felt ugly and detested by the very man who once promised to love and protect me, my husband and manager Stephen. "A man who after ten years of marriage now had a library of sex tapes that could — as we both well knew — ruin my career and destroy my family.

"I wrote frantic, disjointed notes for Phoenix, my eldest daughter…It was going to be up to her to get my other little girls, Angel and Madison, to Leeds where they could all live with my mum.

"In my head, in that moment, it was that simple.

After Mel swallowed two hundred pills, she told herself to get a grip and realized,

"Suicide was not the answer. I had to make my life count. I had to get to a hospital. I had to get those pills out of my stomach before anything happened."

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Mel remembered that she needed to get help to live but her room's door was jammed. She threw her body at the door to break free.

"Those bruises on my face and shoulder everyone saw at The X Factor final three days later — most of them were caused by those moments trapped in that doorway," she wrote in Brutally Honest.

"I can’t remember the pain but I can still remember the fear, panic and absolute confusion in my head.

"Then everything started to go black and I collapsed to my knees. I could feel the life in me starting to drain away.

"And then nothing, silence. I lay semi-conscious on the bathroom floor and, with tears streaming down my face, drifting in and out of consciousness, waited to die."

But somehow, Mel got to the hospital and called her X Factor boss, Simon Cowell with the news. Her daughter Phoenix shouted at her at the hospital: "Why, Mum? Why? Why?” It was the saddest moment of my life. All I ever want is for her to know how sorry I am, how lost I was and how I’ll never, ever abandon her again."

She soon appeared on the X Factor finale, bruises and all. She recalled, "I’m happy I didn’t collapse, happy I’ve done it. I’ve sent my message to Stephen. There’s no going back. I’m going to leave him, get a divorce. I’m going to be free."

Mel is now officially divorced from Belafonte.

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