At age 72, Elton John is finally revealing the nitty gritty details of his sex life and years-long battle with cocaine.
RadarOnline.com has learned exclusive details from the "Rocket Man" singer's new tell-all titled Me, in which he admitted to having an aggressive addiction to the drug and how he got a grip on his health before it was too late.
In the book, out on October 15, John shared a goodbye letter he wrote to the "white lady" in 1990 from inside of the Lutheran Hospital in Park Ridge, Illinois.
The singer said he was heavily addicted to cocaine for 16 years and grew an "unbelievable" appetite for the drug because it made him feel "cool."
In the farewell letter, John also admitted going to great lengths to have a never-ending supply.
"You never cease to amaze me – I've sent cars to pick you up and I even sent planes so that you and I could spend some hours or days together," he wrote.
The singer admitted his addiction caused him to feel "tired and hateful" of himself – and stated that cocaine was his "w****." In the note, John declared he was "prepared to accept humility."
Additionally, in the memoir, John recalled how his drug use went hand-in-hand with his wild sex life. He recalled losing his virginity to manager John Reid at age 23, and coming out as bisexual in an interview with Rolling Stone in 1976.
John confessed in the novel that, while he would fall "hopelessly in love" with men inside of gay bars, he also found himself falling for "straight men all the time."
Perhaps one of the singer's most shocking admissions in the memoir was about how his cocaine use brought out an unusual sex habit. Instead of joining in on intercourse, he preferred to watch.
"That was where my sexual pleasure came from, getting a bunch of people who wouldn't normally have sex with each other, to have sec with each other," the singer confessed.
John said one of his vices involved overspending on lavish items while on a cocaine binge. In one instance, the entertainer was surprised to find out he purchased a tram while high, which could only be delivered to his home using helicopters.
The legend added that while he did not use cocaine to get out of bed in the morning, once he did a line, he "couldn't stop" until there was nothing left.
In His Dreams
Despite his 29-year sobriety, the "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" singer admitted he still dreams about cocaine "all the time" and "almost every week."
As RadarOnline.com readers know, John has been open in the past about his notorious 1975 suicide attempt. In the book, he recalled swallowing 12 tablets of Valium before he went to bed.
In 1996, John recalled taking another "load" of Valium in a second attempt. The terrifying encounter involved the legend informing his family he was going to die – but added that deep down he had "no intention of actually killing myself."
But John's drug use certainly wasn't a secret to those who hung around the singer. He revealed that Queen Elizabeth's cousin, Princess Alexandra, once asked him point blank if he did cocaine after a performance. "I managed to collect myself enough to mumble a shaky denial," he wrote.
John wrote that he also indulged in the drug because it made him feel as a "member of an elite little clique" after years of not feeling "cool."
Of course, John's relationship with his ex, John Reid, also led to traumatic events. In 1974, while touring in New Zealand, John recalled the couple getting arrested and charged with assault after Reid punched a female reporter in the face. John was ultimately acquitted of the charge and paid $50 in fees.