EXCLUSIVE: I Was a Royal Butler and This is How Queen Elizabeth Really Felt About Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton's Bitter Rift
A former butler said the Queen had firm views on the Meghan and Kate tension.
Nov. 19 2025, Published 1:34 p.m. ET
Queen Elizabeth was quietly determined to keep harmony between Meghan Markle and Princess Kate, doing everything she could to prevent their well-documented tensions from dividing the Royal Family, according to her former butler, Grant Harrold.
RadarOnline.com can reveal the late monarch's behind-the-scenes attempts to preserve unity within the royal household came as relations between Markle, 44, and Middleton, 43, became ultra-strained in the years following Prince Harry's engagement to the former Suits actress.
The Queen's Quiet Determination
Harrold said Elizabeth tried to preserve the harmony the 'Fab Four' displayed early on.
Initially, the pair and their husbands, Princes William and Harry – dubbed the "Fab Four" – presented a picture of togetherness when they appeared publicly after Harry, now 41, introduced Markle to royal life in 2016.
But as Harry later detailed in his 2023 memoir Spare, behind palace walls the women's relationship was not as smooth as it seemed.
Harrold, who worked for King Charles when he was Prince of Wales, said the late Queen "was known for her deep commitment to maintaining unity within the Royal Family."
He added: "If she sensed any tension, particularly between Kate and Meghan, she would have quietly stepped in to try and smooth things over."
Preserving a United Front
Grant Harrold said Queen Elizabeth quietly tried to ease tension between Meghan and Kate.
Harrold continued: "Her focus was always on preserving a strong and united front, especially among the younger generation of royals."
He added given the late Queen's lifelong belief in the institution above the individual, Elizabeth "would have done everything in her power to make sure family disagreements never overshadowed duty."
As Harry and Markle's relationship deepened, Harrold added dynamics at Kensington Palace began to change.
He said: "As Prince Harry and Meghan's relationship grew more serious, it's possible that dynamics behind the scenes began to shift. The Queen would have taken note of any signs of strain. If there was even a hint of things not being right, she would have done what she could to resolve it."
The Bridesmaid Dress Disagreement
Meghan said in her Oprah interview that Kate made her cry but later apologized.
Reports of friction first spilled into the public domain in 2018, when claims surfaced Markle had left Middleton in tears following a disagreement over Princess Charlotte's bridesmaid dress ahead of the Sussex wedding.
The alleged exchange, originally reported in several British newspapers, was later disputed by Markle during her 2021 interview with Oprah Winfrey.
During the sit-down, the actress offered a different account, telling Oprah: "And I don't say that to be disparaging to anyone, because it was a really hard week of the wedding, and she was upset about something, but she owned it and she apologised and she brought me flowers and a note apologising, and she did what I would do if I knew that I'd hurt someone, right, to just take accountability for it."
Unity Before Friction
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Sources said Elizabeth believed duty should never be overshadowed by family disputes.
A former senior courtier said Harrold's accounts of the Queen's subtle role in managing royal tensions ring true.
"The Queen believed that discretion and calm were the best tools for family management," the insider said.
"She didn't interfere openly but operated quietly, always putting unity first."
Another palace source added: "Her Majesty had an unshakeable belief that family must come before friction. She could see the strain between the Sussexes and the Cambridges and was deeply saddened by it."
Though the events have long passed, Harrold's recollections provide rare insight into how the late Queen approached one of the most publicized rifts in modern royal history – showing even in the face of family tension, Elizabeth II never stopped working to keep the monarchy together.
