Ellen DeGeneres Finally Opens Up After Career Imploded Over 'Toxic Bully' Claims: 'I Got Canceled for Being Mean!'
She wasted no time addressing the elephant in the room.
RadarOnline.com can reveal Ellen DeGeneres has opened up about her Hollywood downfall for the first time since she was "canceled" from the industry over allegations of fostering a toxic workplace.
The comedian, during her standup show at Radio City Music Hall on August 1, said: "I got kicked out of show business because I'm mean!
"Eventually, they're going to kick me out again for being old!"
But no subject was off-limits at DeGeneres' show in New York City earlier this month, and one attendee described the former TV host's event as part "redemption tour" part "confessional".
The insider said: "She seemed a little bruised from her fall from grace but not broken.
"DeGeneres took time to reflect on her life, the good and the bad. This standup tour is about finally coming clean and explaining the truth behind all the rumors, including some jaw-dropping secrets she hid from the world."
As RadarOnline.com reported, the onetime "queen of nice" was dethroned in 2020 when multiple employees of The Ellen DeGeneres Show called out the executive producers for racism, sexual misconduct and intimidation.
DeGeneres, 66, fired three men and apologized – noting she "wasn't aware" of the toxic environment.
But others Hollywood hotshots said DeGeneres wasn't completely innocent.
Kathy Griffin, 63, claimed her fellow comedian had a "mean streak that all of Hollywood knows about" while a bodyguard blasted DeGeneres for being "cold" and "demeaning".
In her stand-up show, DeGeneres admitted to occasionally being impatient, demanding and direct – but she insisted she was also "compassionate and generous".
She reminisced about playing jump-scare pranks on her staff and starting a game of backstage tag that lasted for five years.
DeGeneres, during her show on August 1, said: "Hearing myself say this out loud, I realized I was chasing my employees and terrorizing them."
The 34-time Emmy winner also admitted she never wanted to be a boss and likened it to Ronald McDonald being "the CEO of McDonalds".
As for being labeled "the most hated woman in America" by the media, DeGeneres said the moniker was "especially hurtful". She also blamed "gender bias" for the allegations against her.
The attendee said: "She admitted reading that was especially hurtful and blamed gender bias partly for why she was perceived as mean.
"She pointed out that women are expected to be quiet and small, while men can make demands without anyone questioning how nice they're being."
DeGeneres' mental health was also said to be a a factor.
The attendee continued: "She said she's always been meticulous and organized, but revealed a secret: Her therapist told her she actually has OCD, like her father, and that may have contributed to negative impressions of her."
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DeGeneres, who previously opened up about her stepfather's sexual abuse and her mother's refusal to believe her for years, divulged another secret she hid from the world. She said she went into show business "to heal my childhood wounds" and because she "thought if I can make people like me, then I'll be happy."
Now, thanks to a lot of therapy, she doesn't feel that way anymore.
One witness at the Radio City Music Hall show said: "Ellen claimed she's stopped caring what people think."
But DeGeneres is still being extremely careful, and she insisted on having everyone lock their phones for the show.
The insider added: "It was a level of security you'd expect for the president. It would make sense that she's extremely paranoid after all the things people have done behind her back.
"In general, though, she seems to have worked through a lot of her issues."
DeGeneres has also shared a fresh heartbreak. Her 94-year-old mother, Betty, is suffering from dementia.
The comedian told the crowd in NYC earlier this month: "My whole identity used to be wrapped up in that show, and my mother's identity used to be being Ellen's mom, and now I don't have a show and she doesn't know she's my mother."
But DeGeneres couldn't resist a joke, and quipped her mom "doesn't know she has dementia" and "probably thinks I'm Kelly Ripa".
DeGeneres, who once said she feared she'd "lost her sense of humor" during the lowest moments after her ordeal, has also apparently learned to laugh again.
At a Q&A session following another recent show, an audience member asked if dancing – which she famously did at the start of ever episode of her talk show – helped her get through tough times.
She answered: "It's hard to dance when you're crying. But I am dancing now."
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