Gisele Bundchen confessed in her new book that she contemplated suicide after suffering horrific panic attacks that left her unable to breathe – and RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned additional details about her crippling anxiety.
In her explosive new tell-all titled Lessons: My Path To A Meaningful Life, out Oct. 2, Bundchen, 38, admitted the modeling industry took a toll on her in the beginning of her career. People was the first to report news of the model's suicidal thoughts.
"Inevitably when I think back to a time in my early twenties, I remember that I felt so helpless that I questioned whether I wanted to live," the supermodel confessed.
Tom Brady's wife said she developed "intense" anxiety due to non-stop panic attacks on planes. Her first occurred in 2003, and the nightmarish episodes continued for "months," she explained.
"When I got back to New York, this new fear found other ways to show itself. It was as if it were moving from place to place, thing to thing, room to room," Bundchen admitted. "Suddenly I didn't feel right about getting on elevators. I felt I couldn't breathe."
At the age of 23, Bundchen experienced a panic attack while she was getting a massage in her New York apartment.
"Everything had become a cage and I was the animal trapped inside, panting for air," the successful model recalled.
The panic attacks became so consistent, Bundchen turned to two New York doctors for help. First, she was given a breathing machine to keep her from "hyperventilating and getting the sweats," she confessed.
When that didn't work, doctors prescribed the model Xanax. Brady's wife, however, said she refused to rely on medicine and threw the pills in the garbage.
Reflecting on her early career, Bundchen admitted it was the stress of her modeling gigs around the globe, coupled with drinking and smoking, that left her with crippling anxiety.
"Along with not knowing I was on a hamster wheel, I didn't understand that I was also basically relying on stimulants and depressants to get me through the day," the high-paying model continued.
The Brazilian-born model said she relied on coffee "to get me going in the morning," followed by cigarettes "to punctuate the long hours" of her demanding career.
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