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Dennis Quaid Reveals Cocaine Hell: 'I Saw Myself Dead Or Losing Everything'

July 23 2018, Updated 12:41 p.m. ET

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Dennis Quaid is coming clean about his horrific cocaine habit in the 1980's — claiming his addiction was so serious, he found himself "screaming at God" to take away the pain.

In a new interview with TODAY's Megyn Kelly, the actor said, "I was basically doing cocaine pretty much on a daily basis" throughout the notorious decade of excess.

"I spent many, many a night screaming at God to please take this away from me, I'll never do it again because I've only got an hour before I have to be at work," he recalled.

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However, by the afternoon after a bender, he said he would forget the horror of the night before.

"Then about 4 o'clock in the afternoon I would be 'Oh, that's not so bad.'"

He cleaned up his act after a "white light experience."

"I saw myself either dead or losing everything that meant anything to me," he explained of his rock bottom moment.

Quaid checked into rehab in 1990, and said he didn't touch any substance for a decade — but now drinks in moderation.

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"I drink now, but cocaine? I was never going to stop until it was all gone. So I don't do coke anymore. The allure has gone for me," he has said in a previous interview.

Soon after he put down drugs, he tied the knot with mega movie star Meg Ryan — but the marriage wasn't as perfect as it seemed in photos.

In his interview with Kelly, out today, Quaid, now 64, said he felt "small" and like he "disappeared" in comparison to Ryan's then massive fame.

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The couple split in 2001 after more than a decade together.

He later married Kimberly Buffington, but they split in 2016. Now, he's dating model Santa Auzina, who is 32 years his junior.

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