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Charlie Sheen Jokes About ‘Crack Pipe’ At Comedy Central Roast

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Sep. 12 2011, Published 4:00 a.m. ET

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By Staff

No sleazy stone was left unturned as Charlie Sheen was the center of attention at a Comedy Central roast in his honor this past weekend.

A cast of comedians and stars -- including Grey’s Anatomy star Kate Walsh, Guns N' Rose guitarist Slash, boxer Mike Tyson, Star Trek’s William Shatner and Jackass star Steve-O -- gathered for the Saturday event at Sony Studios in Culver City, California.

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They took no-holds-barred slams at the actor's hard-partying reputation, including his admitted drug habit, his firing from Two and a Half Men (the highest-paid gig in TV history); and his former living arrangements with the Goddesses (porn star Bree Olson and model Natalie Kenly).

Sheen sat on stage on a huge throne, surrounded by prop missiles. He was introduced by the night's host, Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane, who joked about Sheen's Christmas 2009 arrest, when he allegedly threatened ex-wife Brooke Mueller (who was in attendance) with a knife.

Brooke’s “here voluntarily," McFarlane said. "No one put a knife to her throat."

Jon Lovitz zinged the actor's admitted drug use, asking, "How much blow can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men."

And “The Roastmaster General” Jeffrey Ross lived up to his nickname, incinerating Sheen with a montage of short jokes that went there, and beyond.

Referring to the mixed reviews Sheen received on his My Violent Torpedo of Truth: Defeat is Not an Option tour earlier this year, Ross joked, "Charlie Sheen is to stand-up, is what Larry Flynt is to standing up!"

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Despite the storm of harsh comments, Sheen was a good sport about the humbling evening.

"Wow, what a night. Until tonight, I never realized how f***ed up I was. All this time I thought I was just having fun. The thing is once again, I come out unscathed. You can't hurt me. Hell, I can't even hurt me. Drugs couldn't kill me. Sex couldn't kill me. The press couldn't kill me. Two and a Half Men couldn't kill me. Did you really think your little jokes were going to kill me? I'm done with the winning cause I've already won.

"This roast may be over, but I'm Charlie Sheen. In here burns an internal fire. I just have to remember to keep it away from a crack pipe."

Comedy Central will air the roast September 19 at 10/9c, the same night Two and a Half Men's new season premieres on CBS at 9/8c.


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