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PHOTOS: Kendra Tells How Drugs Sent Her To The Pysch Ward In New Book

//kendrawilkinson

Jul. 7 2010, Published 9:30 a.m. ET

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It was a pleasure medicine chest of drugs that took over a young Kendra Wilkinson's life -- cocaine, pot, acid, crystal meth, alcohol and "whatever pills I could get my hands on" to keep her "mind in a haze."

Kendra has exposed her drug battle in her new tell-all book Sliding Into Home, all of which led to cutting herself, suicide attempts and a stay in a mental institution, RadarOnline.com has learned.

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"I was f**ked up all the time and when I was coming down (off drugs) I got very depressed and angry," she wrote in the tell-all, out now.

"They allowed me not to think, because when I had time to think bad things happened."

Those bad things meant creating physical pain by cutting herself.

Wrote Kendra, "One day it was boy trouble, another day I felt like I wanted to run away but had nowhere to go.

"I either felt like no one was looking out for me or that I had no one to turn to.

"I was alone and I was miserable. I'd take scissors and jab them into my arm, slicing until a stream of blood ran down to my hand. With tears running down my face, I cut until I couldn't cut anymore."

It led to a suicide attempt at age 15.

"One day I went through the medicine cabinet and took everything I could find. I put pill after pill in my mouth, but it wasn't enough," she admitted.

Kendra promised her mom she would stop the cutting, but couldn't.

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The destruction landed her in Mesa Vista Hospital, a psychiatric ward in San Diego.

"I felt like a crazy person the entire time," she wrote in her expose.

"While I was there I got into a fight and they put me in one of those white rooms with rubber walls.

"I was losing my mind. After that I was moved to another room, also with no windows. For two weeks I didn't see sunlight."

In complete desperation, she even turned to non-drugs to medicate.

"Nothing can describe my pain during that time more than the fact that I tried to overdose on toothpaste," she said.

"That's as low as it gets."

Readers seeking support and information about suicide prevention can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

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