Your tip
Your tip
RadarOnlineRadarOnline
or
Sign in with lockrMail

Paula Abdul: "I Could Have Killed Myself"

May 5 2009, Published 3:45 p.m. ET

RadarOnline CommentsLink to FacebookShare to XShare to FlipboardShare to Email

American Idol's Paula Abdul says she has popped her fair share of pills during a 12-year bout with painkiller addiction. 

"I could have killed myself," Abdul tells the new issue of  Ladies' Home Journal. The 46-year-old singer said withdrawing from the drugs last fall was "the worst thing. I was freezing cold, then sweating hot, then chattering and in so much pain. It was excruciating. But at my very core, I did not like existing the way I had been."

Article continues below advertisement

Abdul said she only kicked the habit last November during an extended stay at La Costa Resort and Spa in Carlsbad, Calif.

Abdul  said she had lingering agony from years of cheerleading, dancing injuries and a pair of car crashes in the early 90s which lead to a bout with reflex sympathetic dystrophy syndrome four years ago. She said she wore a patch that was 80 times more potent than morphine.

Despite rumors to the contrary, the Forever Your Girl singer said she never appeared on Idol under the influence.

On a more positive note, Abdul said she is gearing up for a comeback, and will sing "I'm Just Here for the Music," a single from her forthcoming album, on Wednesday's Idol results show.

Her album hits stores this autumn.

(Photo: WENN)

Radar Logo

Never Miss an

Exclusive

Daily updates from the heart of Hollywood, right to your inbox

By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you’re agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.

READ MORE ON Celebrity

Opt-out of personalized ads

© Copyright 2025 RADAR ONLINE™️. A DIVISION OF MYSTIFY ENTERTAINMENT NETWORK INC. RADAR ONLINE is a registered trademark. All rights reserved. Registration on or use of this site constitutes acceptance of our Terms of Service, Privacy Policy and Cookies Policy. People may receive compensation for some links to products and services. Offers may be subject to change without notice.