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More Madonna: Follow These Rules

Nov. 11 2008, Published 2:13 p.m. ET

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Madonna's divorce is great fodder for the British papers and today's Daily Mail has a list of 12 rules that Guy Ritchie supposedly must follow in order to see their children. Guy had his first visit with Rocco, 8, and David, 3, in London yesterday. The kids have been with a nanny while mom tours the U.S. on her 'I'm-50-But-You-Know-You-Still-Want-Me' tour. (Ok, that may not really be the name of the tour but it's pretty close to capturing the essence of it.)

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Guy has the kids and some of the rules the British paper says he must follow include:

· Not allowing them to read newspapers or magazines or watch TV or DVDs. (Gee, this is gonna be a fun trip.)· All water they drink must be Kabbalah water. (Oh how we wish we had invented Kabbalah water! It's just like regular water only, um... Hey we wonder if this is like a caffeine, decaf thing. Wouldn't it be great to serve Madonna regular water and tell her it's Kaballah water until she drank most of the glass and then tell her and watch her do a spit take?)

· At bedtime Guy is supposed to read them the English Rose books Madonna wrote. (This is a good idea because eventually when they read good literature they'll be so impressed. It's like having a mom who's a terrible cook and then growing up and tasting good food for the first time.)

There are more rules of course but these are our favorites. Sounds like the trip to dad's house is going to be about as much fun as a visit to the dentist. Oh wait, they're British. Never mind.

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