You Will Just Have to Use Your Imagination to Watch Shakira Have Sex

about that alleged video of curvy Colombian singer Shakira having sex with ex-boyfriend Antonio de la Rua and singer Alejandro Sanz aboard a yacht owned by Sanz but later stolen by two of his ex-employees: an innocent April Fools day prank by an Argentine DJ!

A shame, really—Rua is the son of ex-Argentine president Fernando de la Rua and Sanz is the sexy Latin dude in the video above, which would have made this thing approximately 10,000 times hotter than those mid '90s photos of Kristin Davis. Sadly, as with Lindsay Lohan, we'll just have to wait for Shakira to get desperate enough to actually do this.