BREAKING NEWS

You Say 'Humanitarian Catastrophe' Like It's a Bad Thing

Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET

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CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES Bush • Happy Iraq Study Group Report Day, everybody!: Some of the words and terms that jumped out at us from the most highly-anticipated bipartisan report of the year:

- grave

- deteriorating

- "Pessimism is pervasive"

- deteriorate

- severe

- "slide towards chaos"

- "humanitarian catastrophe"

- polarized

- flaws

And that's just from the intro!

A star is shorn: Us Weekly has a fuzzy interview with intrepid bushwhacker Cindy Barshop about how and why her client Paris Hilton and her new BFF/fellow baldy Britney Spears like to be groomed within an inch of their puberty.

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Water on Mars?: Sure. Whatever works.

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