Dirty South?: In her first day as an official host of The View, Whoopi Goldberg brings the controversy by sticking up for dog-hater Michael Vick.
• On second thought: Larry "Wide Stance" Craig might not be on his way out of the Senate after all.
• Post-party syndrome: Paris Hilton is ready to end her hard partying ways, settle down, and become a wife, recently telling Elle, "I wanna have, like, a family and a guy." Which is way she needs to get the nip-flashing magazine shoots out of the way now.
• On the talk-show stump: Upset that Fred Thompson is skipping a Republican debate on Fox News to appear on Leno? Don't be. You can learn each and every one of his positions in a 30-second ad that will air during the debate.
• Catwalk litterbox: In what would be the closest the real world gets of Mugatu's Derelicte campaign, Fashion Weeks of the future could be moved from Bryant Park to the roof of hobo-haven Port Authority.