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Middle-Eastern Promises: Bush's Got This

Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET

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I DON'T SEE IT Tour guide, Bush(Photo: Getty Images)

The brand new blog set up for White House staff to document President Bush's journey to the Middle East is conveying a surprisingly pessimistic view of the prospects for peace in the region. According to Bush aide Ed Gillespie, "This trip is an utter fucking disaster. We obviously have no idea what we're doing here; everyone laughs in our face when we talk about reaching an Israel-Palestine peace agreement by the end of the year. I'm even starting to think this Iraq thing could have been a huge, huge mistake. I look forward to making a speedy return to the states, where I intend to insulate myself from the realities of our massively failed strategies in a cocoon of privileged Washington douchebaggery."

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Just kidding! The peace mission is actually going really, really great, and Ed Gillespie in fact blogged that President Bush is getting along with everyone so well that "it's hard not to be overcome with hope and optimism." Apparently that festering little Israel-Palestine problemo the Bush administration has neglected for years could be squared away by the end of the year. Good news. Keep us posted White House blog!

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