SPIDEY-ON-SPIDEY ACTION Maguire handles a real arachnid
• Fully loaded: If those snooping paps would just leave Lindsay Lohan alone, she could get on with what she was trying to do before they showed up: win an Oscar. Well, look who it is ... Lindsay declares war!
• Not just a typo: New York, not the New Yorker cleans up at the magazine awards, the Ellies.
• She shall overcome: Protest singer Joan Baez is banned from playing for troops at Walter Reed Army Medical Center.
• La petit mort: Already approved by its culture committee, the Iranian parliament is expected to pass a law that sentences producers of pornography to death.
• The gas closet: The CEO of BP, Lord John Browne, steps down after being outed by a disgruntled ex-boyfriend—who just wanted his tank filled more often.
• Pimp King moonlighted as Ripper?: South African historian Charles van Onselen thinks he's found the identity of Jack the Ripper in Joseph Silver, aka the "King of the Pimps," who also terrorized women in Johannesburg.
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