Glossies Devour Pretty Lady's Twins

Brangie babies are here! Brangie babies are here! Rejoice and celebrate! Rejoice and celebrate—especially if you're Alex Rodriquez and the divine birth briefly knocked Madonna's latest publicity stunt—we mean your divorce—off the covers.

Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline came into the world on July 12, weighing in at five-pounds-three-ounces and five-pounds, respectively, and giving each mag's graphic artist the opportunity to try out new script fonts and design fake birth announcements for the spread. The glossies owe a great deal to Angelina's high blood pressure and her obstetrician, Michael Sussman, which together bumped her caesarian up to Saturday instead of the scheduled Tuesday—giving the weekly warriors time to gather all the news of the wonder twins for their Monday night closes. Also, that Sussman is a chatty fellow—like the mags' didn't even need to resort to gynos with books to promote currently not treating Ms. Jolie!