REALITY BITES Banks, Kutcher (inset) • TV-land: The writers' strike didn't end in time to keep Tyra Banks and Ashton Kutcher from teaming up for a new reality series where the contestants (brace yourselves) compete in a beauty pageant. Apparently, there's also some kind of twist. We'll go ahead and guess that it involves giving self-esteem to geeks and/or lame pranks.
• Inflationary tales: Federal Reserve ChairmanBen Bernanke warns lawmakers about the possibilities of inflation. Bring on the rate cuts!
• Bar-oxers or Ba-riefs?: Democratic Presidential candidateBarack Obama refuses to answer which of the two undergarments he prefers, but assures us all he "looks good" in whatever he chooses.
• Oy-vey: Thieves in Israel steal nearly $415,000 dollars worth of chocolate spread. The purloined chocolate has a street value of more than $3.45 billion in gelt.
• Xenu won't be pleased: A representatives for maybe-prisoner-of-Scientology Katie Holmes shoots down rumors the actress is pregnant with her second child. Cruise, you pussy.