On Valkyrie's Deathbed, Cruise Returns to Oprah

"REMEMBER THAT TIME I FLIPPED OUT ON YOUR SHOW?" Oprah, Cruise (Photo: Getty Images) • Couch joke here: With his Nazi film Valkyrie on hold, Tom Cruise is set to appear on Oprah later this spring (May sweeps!)—the first time he's been on the show since the 2005 coming out party celebrating his insanity.

• Gene labels: The Senate has unanimously passed a proposal banning genetic discrimination. Calling it the "the first new civil rights bill of the new century," Democratic Senator Edward Kennedy said "discrimination based on a person's genetic identity is just as unacceptable as discrimination on the basis of race or religion." Discrimination based on gender and sexuality are still totally up for grabs.

• Good for them: The University of Florida has decided to keep on using tasers, despite the "Don't Tase Me, Bro" incident. The affair might not have resulted in changing university policy, but at least it inspired a song.

WAIT, THERE'S MORE: Wino's really loaded, Hills crew drama, and intervention time for Miley?