Third World To Toss BRIC Through U.S. Shop Windows

Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET

Oh, everyone in the U.S. is so dejected about today's market tumble. (The Dow is back down to 8,700-something.) Everyone is so surprised that yesterday's bizarre rise wasn't the sign of all sunny days ahead. Morons! Morons with no attention span to speak of. Settle in, folks! What part of "extended period of difficulty" do you sitcom-watching, Xbox-playing thumbheads not understand? Americans are constantly shocked when an abstract problem actually affects them, and this last month has been a real demonstration of that. Plus Americans don't even have that much to be pissed about! But they sure won't like it when non-America runs the world, which will be soon.

Never Miss an

Daily updates from the heart of Hollywood, right to your inbox

By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you’re agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.

Rihanna Flaunts Her Figure in Thong Bodysuit and Goes Completely Topless as Singer Drops Her Hottest Photos Ever

Back to All Natural: Pamela Anderson, Tori Spelling, Chrissy Teigen and More Stars Who Got Their Breast Implants Removed

Article continues below advertisement