HELLO, FATHER? Jesus campers' diaspora
• Children of the re-born: The training grounds for evangelical jihadist tykes, covered in the documentary Jesus Camp, will be "shut down for at least several years." A head pastor "has drawn fire from some corners for 'brainwashing' the children," which is a problem when another leader, Ted Haggard, stumbles out of the closet as a Bible-violating homosexual and meth-waster—thanks, of course, to tattler Mike Jones.
• Swinging parties: Midterm election loser Lincoln Chafee isn't sure he wants to be a Republican anymore and may recast himself on the other side of the political spectrum. Says Chafee, "I just haven't even thought about where my place is." On Tuesday, voters decided that they don't know where his place is either, but it definitely isn't Washington.
• Low ratings + high praise = one whole season: For all the talk about its imminent cancellation, NBC's best drama, Studio 60, might somehow be picked up for 22 more episodes. On the flip side, Culture Club have pulled out of their comeback tour plans.
• Colbert faux presidente: Apparently, the man with the most political clout is not King George II, but rather he of the arched eyebrow, Stephen Colbert. In this year's elections, "every incumbent candidate he interviewed in his notorious 'Better Know a District' segment was reelected." This, after Bush wasn't even invited to stump for his candidates.
• The PR blitz goes red: A Russian government agency will (tentatively) not permit America's number-one Kazakh comedy to be shown in theatres, because the film "could offend some viewers and it contained material that 'might seem disparaging in relation to certain ethnic groups and religions'." By this, they mean Jews, gypsies, homosexuals, and others. It's the comedic Final Solution—what's offensive about that?