The Week Wall Street Pretended To Learn Something

Some wee need-to-know items previously glossed over today, at the end of a week obsessed more with finance than with Sarah Palin. That won't happen again!

• Fox and Friends flipped out on Jezebel's anti-Palin screed: Fox's phrase "Upper West Side anger" certainly does seem like a code for... something!

• Detroit has a new mayor! He will not be sending sexy text messages to anyone.

• Ramadan is so on.

• New York state Senator Chuck Schumer explains what it was like having the financial crisis described to him YESTERDAY: "History was sort of hanging over it, like this was a moment." Glad you cottoned on, pal!

• Also hilarious—a bunch of commercial brokers told a reporter that times were tough and they were worried. This is a heaping helping of lies. They are having the times of their lives.

• Hey, Todd Palin's Troopergate thing is over because no one cares. You know what? Fine. We don't care either. We're going to go get loaded on Gawker's roof.