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The Undisputed Glossy Queen is ...

Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET

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OOPS 3.0 Spears, In Touch

Britney Spears, her magical mystery uterus, and secret sex room earn a place on all five glossy covers this week!

Flirting dangerously with landing on the naughty list, Us reports that Brit attempted to try on a stash of thongs at the Hustler Store in West Hollywood, and when the sales bunny told Brit you can't try on undies, Brit dropped trou and thonged up in the middle of the store. Then the million-dollar mess attempted to leave without paying, according to the mag. Was Brit saving up to pay additional child support to Kevin Federline? Life & Style reports that, as the parent of record, Kev is asking for extra cash in child support.

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Meanwhile OK! somehow fashions a four-page spread from model John Coulter not shagging the Spears-ter. The two met when he played a hot priest in a photo shoot for her new album. While "sources"/PAs on the set say that Brit was hitting on John, he told her he "didn't want to get mixed up in it." Nice photos of John's six-pack though.

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