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The Tabs Tackle Smayerson

Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET

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ALSO IN GRAPE, CHERRY Simpson

Stars could learn a lot from philandering suburban spouses. Things like when hooking up with someone you're not supposed to, make sure you do it at a roach-infested motel off the Interstate, the kind with numbers in their names, and not the Soho Grand.

But alas, less than a week after their people told the world that Jessica Simpson and John Mayer were no more, the two were spotted (never together, mind you) at the hip Manhattan hotel. Tabloid translation: John and Jess the Sequel, this time it's personal!

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Wonderland-like physical attraction aside, Us has concerns for the couple. The mag's crack team of book-hawking experts and shrinks fears that Jess is losing her identity with the sappy singer and has self-esteem issues—and here we thought that Jess and her boots-walking Dukes of Hazzard bikini were more like the cause of other ladies' self-esteem issues. "John told Jessica she had to change, he didn't want to be dating this blonde bimbo," reports one source/annoyed former assistant.

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