The Matter Of Jessica Roy

Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET

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For the last few days, a youngster has been IMing me to ask me some questions for some blog story about how to best network at parties. At blogger parties. I didn't really say anything, because, WHAT? Except I was finally like, actually, I don't go to blogger parties and I don't "network"? Because, well, do I bear the hallmarks of a careerist particularly? And he was like, yes you do! You were at Alex Balk's going-away party! Right, so first of all, Alex is actually my FRIEND, "in real life," and second of all, I was technically (if not in practice) his BOSS from that which he was "going away," and third of all, that was NINE or TEN MONTHS AGO. And fourth of all, oh, fuck you all.

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