Putting the 'Lit' in Politics

MULTIMEDIA BLOWHARD From the mind of O'Reilly The increased groaning, moaning, and mudslinging coming out of D.C. in recent weeks doesn't just sound like the clichéd, hypersexual follies found in romance novels. It is. And the writers of several of those novels are politicos you know. Just this week, scandal-seeking anthropologists dug up forgotten words by Virginia's senatorial candidate, Jim Webb, as well as Vice President Dick's wife, Lynne Cheney. That's not to dismiss Texas state comptroller Susan Combs's Fabio-fest, an out-of-printer discovered just a few days before, or the contributions of Bill O'Reilly, Newt Gingrich, or Scooter Libby of yore. In keeping a fresh face powdered for the public, it seems that voters want an upright gent (or lady ... or both) in the streets, but a freak in the bed. As political operatives sift through pages of purple prose in search of the next campaign killer and candidates make their bones penning dime-store fiction, Radar offers this greatest hits of politico-lit.

Lewis Libby, The Apprentice:

But she knew him, she watched his eyes gleam as she drew her hand slowly down inside her robe to her thighs and then brought her scent to him. She let him get the taste so strong he could think of nothing else and then she promised him that everything he wanted would be his that night, willingly, if they started right away.

Bill O'Reilly, Those Who Trespass:

"Say, baby, put that pipe down and get my pipe up," Robo said to one of the girls. She was so intoxicated she had trouble standing, but Robo was her sugar daddy, and as he sat in a filthy, imitation, leather couch, there in the living room of a run-down three-bedroom apartment, she obediently performed oral sex on him.