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The Fall of the House of Usher

Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET

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I DON'T Usher

Nuptial news: Usher cancels his wedding to his older, pregnant fiancée, while Steve Martin—Inspector Clouseau mustache and all—weds his younger fiancée in a surprise ceremony.

Smart money: Portly blogger Perez Hilton pens a piece in the London Mirror about Hollywood's betting ring on who will die first: Paris, Britney, Lindsay, or Nicole.

Bombed again: Lindsay Lohan's I Know Who Killed Me stands to become the new Showgirls. Few saw the movie after it opened this weekend, and even fewer liked it.

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No Ike day: The Mayor of St. Louis decides that it would not be in his city's best interest to deem Sept. 2 Ike Turner day. Something about him being a wife beater.

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