GOTS BALLS Cabbie Alex McIlveen
• Ball buster: A cabbie tells of how he booted one of the terrorists behind the Glasgow attack in the nuts so hard he tore a tendon in his foot. The terrorist "didn't even flinch," possibly because he was engulfed in flames.
• Le jogging de Sarkozy: The French President is criticized for his passion for running, as intellectuals call the activity right-wing and un-French. In addition, the black-clad chain smokers likely despise the short-shorts and NYPD T-shirts he's been known to exercise in.
• Chinese happy hour: Rival mobile phone companies in China entice subscribers with free beer. Increasingly frustrated iPhone owners are even more pissed about being locked in to an AT&T contract.
• Napoleon of the stump: The home of James K. Polk is vandalized, but authorities doubt the "glue" and "meat" tags are gang-related.