The Thug Edition
• One lump or 200?: That prick Suge Knight's back in the weeds with John Q. Law. Assault and drugs, don't ya' know!
• Back in business: Alaska's most bribe-taking-est Senator, Ted Stevens, handily won his Republican re-election primary bid today, stomping out a couple of losers who should be really embarrassed. Up next, sigh, a Democrat.
• You could never get in anyway: Jay-Z, he's a rapper, has sold his 40-40 Club in Las Vegas.
- Jonathan Majors' Legal Team Aims To Have Assault Charges 'Dropped' After Providing 'Video Evidence' To New York DA
- Jonathan Major's US Army Ads Pulled By The Military After The Actor's Arrest Over 'Domestic Dispute'
- Harry Styles, Emily Ratajkowski And Olivia Wilde Spark 'Throuple' Chatter In Hollywood After Wild Make-Out Session Caught On Video
• Grounded in reality: Diddy, he's a vodka and zit-cream salesman, has grounded his jet citing high fuel prices and is now flying commercial. When you see him, say hi.
• DMX, you moron: DMX, he's a criminal and an idiot, cussed at the judge presiding over his bond hearing. Hence no bond awarded.