Tony's Familiar Touch, Jacko's Familiar Awards Speech, and More!

TONY TIMES Snow profiled • Talking point: In a profile of conservative talk show host-turned-Bush Press Secretary Tony Snow for this weekend's New York Times Magazine, Ben Wallace-Wells writes:

"Snow has a tendency to insist on the intellectual agility of his fellow travelers. When I asked him to describe his boss, he said that the president 'reminds me of one of those guys who walks through a gym playing 40 games of chess at once and can keep all the moves in his head.'"

• The Return of the King of Pop: Michael Jackson will accept an honorary prize at the World Music Awards. Thankfully, this award actually exists—unlike the Artist of the Millennium prize Britney Spears didn't quite give him at the 2002 VMAs.

• Bloodlust: Saw III, the third installment of this gore-for-the-sake-of-gore series somehow gets $34 million in the bank in its opening weekend. Because there's not enough real-life horror and gore out there?

• Tick tag-toed: 60 Minutes has apparently changed the news-magazine's opening sequence in an effort to skew younger, making flashier the tried-and-true stopwatch. It's the first major title sequence change since that brief period in the '80s when the ticking timepiece was replaced by a calculator watch, Mike Wallace wore a white suit and pastel T-shirt, and Ed Bradley dressed like Tubbs.

• The Cosby kids aren't alright: Bill Cosby—again—says that parents and teachers need to step up their educating game or they're letting the little ones down. The former Dr. Huxtable adds, "We can't answer these children, because nobody's given them any goals."

• Mucking through Macca's beaten path: Heather Mills's claims that her ex, Paul McCartney, assaulted her (and his first wife) seem to be falling flat, at least according to the paper at the center of her lawsuit. A long-buried 1980 Linda McCartney interview has the late photographer offering "intimate and fascinating insight into their loving relationship."

• Bus-ted: A 15-year-old in Seminole County, Florida, stole a bus, maintaining its schedule and picking up passengers along its route. "I drove that bus better than most of the LYNX drivers could ... There isn't a scratch on it. I know how to start it, drive it, lower it, raise it," the kid boasted. He's being charged with grand theft auto and driving without a license. If New York City subway stealer Darius McCollum is any sort of role model, we'll probably hear from this kid again.