Surgery Queen's Acid Pen

BOSOM BUDDY Kuczynski Exposing the plastic surgery secrets of her social set reportedly cost Alex Kuczynski some friends. And as she roams the country plugging her book, Beauty Junkies, she doesn't seem to be winning any new ones.

In her "Critical Shopper" column in yesterday's New York Times, Kuczynski wrote about a book signing in Austin, Texas. "Unfortunately I was seated next to an Ann-Margret look-alike (circa Carnal Knowledge) in a low-cut top who had written a memoir about how for an entire year she said yes to every man or woman who asked her on a date, including a homeless guy and a 70-year-old salsa dancer, and I think even had sex with some of them," she wrote.

After realizing nobody had come to hear about her misadventures with butt liposuction, Kuczynski opted to go shopping for cowboy boots (hence the column), only to find herself brooding about not being the most popular girl at the signing.

"Maybe I should have worn a lower-cut blouse. Or written a book about dating everyone in New York City. Why did they seat me next to that hussy, anyway?"

"That hussy" is better known as Maria Dahvana Headley, author of The Year of Yes, as Kuczynski's readers would know if she'd bothered to refer to her or the book by name.