Stories Worth Talking About by 9 a.m.

• How not to stave off a lawsuit: The Sun, the tabloid being sued by Heather Mills for allegedly printing lies about her divorce with Paul McCartney, strikes back by getting Kate Moss's opinion on the Mills-McCartney proceedings: "Claims in Heather's leaked divorce are 'utter bullshit'." They also printed an easy-to-follow survey for the "one-legged Macca." Image after the jump

• Cash, charge, or espionage? A New Mexico trailer park drug raid gets crazy when the search turns up some Los Alamos documents. Apparently, a contract employee of the nuclear lab is somehow linked to this methamphetamine cook. At least they didn't find missing plutonium, which we hear provides a long-lasting, mind-blowing, clean high.

• Bigger than Elvis: Nirvana's Kurt Cobain out earned Elvis Presley in Forbes.com's list of top money-making dead celebrities. Cobain, who died in 1994, earned $50 million from October 2005 to October 2006, beating out not just Elvis, but John Lennon and Albert Einstein. Forbes also looks at future revenue streams for the late rocker, including a special November episode of CSI: Miami, which will prominently feature Nirvana songs, and a possible twentieth anniversary edition of Bleach. An executive in charge of Cobain's catalog told Forbes.com, "You will never see Kurt Cobain's music in a fast-food hamburger advertisement—that won't ever happen." We'll see.

• Wave of the future: New vlogs show you how to correctly shower, bake a cake, and perform other small tasks. Still, they might not teach you the art of—look! It's a shrimp running on a treadmill!

• Hugo Chavez es el Diablo?: The Venezuelan leader's firestorm speech last month to the U.N. might prevent the nation from joining the General Assembly. That'll teach him to wave around a Noam Chomsky book like some fired up Air America host.

• Actor, 2006-present: K-Fed's going to be starring in his very first film, a "Shakespearian street hip hop movie." Just another section to add to his Wikipedia entry, which already states that "Kevin was diagnosed with severe mental retardation."