Court Spanks Jizz Jockey
Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET
The already difficult task of browsing the Internet for the most reputable purveyor of frozen semen just got a bit harder now that John Gonzales, the self-described "Stelios of sperm," has been jailed on charges of fraud, perjury, and forgery. Gonzales, 45, who actually looks like the type of guy who would peddle sperm on the Internet, earned the nickname "Seedy Gonzales" from the pun-happy British press corp after launching mannotincluded.com back in 2003. Hundreds of thousands of pounds of debt and a few missed child support payments later, the spunky Gonzales is headed to the clink, much to the relief of government officials who are clearly jazzed by the fact that Gonzales was unable to get off.
- Snoop Dogg on Why He and Dr. Dre Will Never Be Canceled: ‘You Can’t Cancel The Culture — It’s Just Motherf------ You Don’t Know Sayin’ You Ain’t Hot No More’
- Laura Dern Packed Off to Movie Set by Famous Mom Aged 16 – With Suitcase Packed With Condoms: ‘You Gotta Be Protected!’
- 'A Standoff at the Moment': Kate Middleton and Prince William Fighting to Take Over Prince Andrew's Royal Lodge
The biggest oddity surrounding Gonzales' spackle racket? Authorities claim they are still "unclear" as to where he got all his supply from. Dude either had some really bored friends or some really BIG forearms.