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Court Spanks Jizz Jockey

Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET

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The already difficult task of browsing the Internet for the most reputable purveyor of frozen semen just got a bit harder now that John Gonzales, the self-described "Stelios of sperm," has been jailed on charges of fraud, perjury, and forgery. Gonzales, 45, who actually looks like the type of guy who would peddle sperm on the Internet, earned the nickname "Seedy Gonzales" from the pun-happy British press corp after launching mannotincluded.com back in 2003. Hundreds of thousands of pounds of debt and a few missed child support payments later, the spunky Gonzales is headed to the clink, much to the relief of government officials who are clearly jazzed by the fact that Gonzales was unable to get off.

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The biggest oddity surrounding Gonzales' spackle racket? Authorities claim they are still "unclear" as to where he got all his supply from. Dude either had some really bored friends or some really BIG forearms.

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