Spencer's Five-Point Path to Fame

PRATT FINK Spencer, Montag(Photo: Getty Images)

Looks like the cast of MTV's The Hills has studied and memorized Fame for Dummies. What else could explain the textbook "look at me!" behavior exhibited by Spencer Pratt, Heidi Montag, and Lauren Conrad over the last week leading up to the premiere of the series' third season? Lauren filed a six-page rant about her costars in Us Weekly, while Spencer and Heidi have been making the rounds on radio programs to publicly dis L.C.'s "beef curtains" and promote their own projects. They've phoned in quotes to celebrity blogs, written scathing posts on their own sites, and generally made every effort to start an all-out war in the press.

We were quick to assume this was all an elaborate publicity stunt for the "reality" show, but a publicist who represents a recurring character on The Hills tells Radar that the drama is "pathetic, but unfortunately legit," and that the two camps really do have tremendous beef off-camera as well as on.

Still, we can't help but focus on Pratt, whose fame seems so calculated you could plot his every move. So after the jump, we do just that, with the Five-point Pratt Plan for Fame. We're not recommending it, but any young wannabe who hopes to be universally disliked in a year (and set up a subsequent slide into obscurity) should take note.