Shocker: Freakishly Large Baseball Players Used Steroids

JUICY? Bonds (Photo: Getty Images)

So apparently pretty much everyone in Major League Baseball who's had a decent career in the last few years was on the juice at some point. That's the conclusion to be drawn from a leaked (and disputed) list of players linked to the use of performance enhancing drugs in former Senate Majority Leader George Mitchell's investigation of steroids in baseball. The list includes such legends as Barry Bonds, Albert Pujols, Roger Clemens, Mark McGwire, and Jason Giambi, all of whom might have fallen under suspicion due to their longevity, power, and shockingly oversize heads. Asked to respond, a major leaguer named on the list offered these thoughts: "RARRRR! ME DESTROY GEORGE MITCHELL! RARRRR! Other than that, I have no further comment on the matter."