YOU GOT IT, DUDE! Ashley and Mary-Kate • Too rich, too thin: The Olsens top Forbes's list of Hollywood's most over-privileged dwarves.
• Post-Stardum: Britney's doctors believe the former popstress may be suffering from clinical depression. Ya think?
• Raise you 20 and a virgin bride: Pakistani officials are on the hunt for tribal elders accused of pressuring a woman to give up her daughter to cover a poker debt.
• Oprah beats Babs: Winfrey's first Academy Awards special generated 900,000 more viewers than Walters' pre-Oscar mainstay, snipes Nielsen.