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Science Finding Easier Ways for Obese to Pretend They're Working Out

Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET

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  • Good news, fatass! You know those 30 extra pounds you're waddling around with? You're not carrying them simply because you can't say no to anything with a super-size option. According to science, part of the reason so many of you resemble overstuffed Midwestern fairgoers consuming massive quantities of corn dogs has to do with the modern sedentary lifestyle: "It turns out that sitting for hours at a time, as so many of us do in these days of ubiquitous computers and electronic games and 24-hour television, attacks the body in ways that have not been well understood." Apparently, remaining seated causes the fat-burning enzymes in your corpulent bodies to simply shut down, resulting in those extra rolls around your midsection where you sometimes find leftover tortilla-chip crumbs. So the good news? Next time a thinner friend or relative mocks you for making another trip to the refrigerator, you can stand up with pride and confidently reply through your Snackwells-filled maw, "Fuck you, I'm exercising." ABCNews

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