HI, MOM: I'M IN JAIL Abramoff • Abramoff to the slammer: Former Republican super-lobbyist and Dick Tracy wardrobe-raider Jack Abramoff has checked into his new home for the next six years: A federal prison in Cumberland, Maryland.
• Also going to the hoosegow: James Barker, who pleaded guilty to the rape of an Iraqi girl and the murder of her family in March. Barker was one of four soldiers accused in the attack.
- Jonathan Majors' Legal Team Aims To Have Assault Charges 'Dropped' After Providing 'Video Evidence' To New York DA
- Jonathan Major's US Army Ads Pulled By The Military After The Actor's Arrest Over 'Domestic Dispute'
- Harry Styles, Emily Ratajkowski And Olivia Wilde Spark 'Throuple' Chatter In Hollywood After Wild Make-Out Session Caught On Video
• Cellies! Another Enron executive, Richard Causey, is headed to jail. What is all this? Viral marketing for Let's Go to Prison?
• Write your own joke here: Sacha Baron Cohen is bringing Borat, his anti-Semitic Kazakh character to Israel. At least he's not going to jail.... Yet.