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Praise Jesus! Haggard's No Homo

Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET

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SCARED STRAIGHT Haggard Turns out all that cranked-up dude-sex Ted Haggard allegedly had with prostitute Mike Jones was just "acting out." The disgraced former head of Colorado's New Life megachurch is "completely heterosexual," Rev. Tim Ralph triumphantly declares in today's Denver Post.

A foursome of men assigned to whip the insatiable preacher into shape say his man-cravings were confined to one guy—though they still think he should pursue work in the secular world, far away from Colorado. Like in Iowa or Missouri. Or P-Town.

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There, says Haggard, he and his wife can both pursue degrees in psychology. Psychotherapy, apparently, left him begging for more.

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