YOUTH LARGE Wentz
• Designer boy: Emo king and mall-minded businessman Pete Wentz is reportedly teaming up with DKNY to bring the middle-school kids a line of skinny jeans and graphic tees.
• Inside job: Did Chuck Schumer plant something in Chief Justice John Roberts's brain to cause his seizure? Nutty talk-show host Michael Savage thinks just maybe.
• Chinese deprived of Chinese jokes: Brett Ratner's latest explosion fest Rush Hour 3 will not be shown in China because officials believe it's "fundamentally anti-Chinese" and likely to be a hulking pile of shit.
• Famous for nothing, sued for something: Son of Hollywood Sean Stewart is sued for beating up a fellow clubgoer last year. He's already been found liable for desperately exploiting his father's fame.
• Losing it: The U.S. government has lost track of 190,000 weapons issued to Iraqi security forces. They're sure to be returned, one bullet at a time.