YOU MUST BE THIS TALL TO RIDE THE SIMPSON GRAVY TRAIN Pete, Ashlee (Photo: Getty Images) • Cashlee Pimpson: Surprise, surprise. Papa Joe Simpson is trying to cash in on daughter Ashlee's press pregnancy and engagement to Pete Wentz. Big papa tried to sell the tabloids cover rights for Ashlee for $1 million, but it seems interest is more around the $60k mark. Also, all of Ashlee's big news comes at a time a bit too convenient—she's dropping a new album next week that no one would have previously cared about.
• Bushy bush: Music producer and Amy Winehouse pal Mark Ronson has been busy romancing 18-year-old lingerie model Daisy Lowe. Lowe isn't just 14 years his junior, she's also got a sexy British hipster pedigree—she's the daughter of former Bush frontman Gavin Rossdale (from his pre-Gwen Stefani days) and fashion designer Pearl Lowe.
• Tax day: Barack Obama's campaign released the candidate's tax returns Wednesday, showing that the senator and his wife pulled in $4.2 million last year, much of it from the sale of Barack's two books. The couple also donated $240,370 to charity. Maybe Barack really is Jesus.
HELL YEAH, THERE'S MORE: Was Ashley Dupré packing?; Sex and the City Deaths; and Herpes on trial!