Paris Hilton's My New BFF Is Finally Here!

By now you realize you're out of the running to become close personal friends with Paris Hilton, right? That slutty little ship has sailed, buds, and her new show, My New BFF, is already cast, whittled, and tested! But the resulting premiere is yours for the viewing tonight if you're still interested—you know, for next season's casting call! (It's opposite The Rachel Zoe Project, so we're obviously a little torn.) The MTV show is meant to reveal what it's like to get in tight with one of the world's most well-oiled and fair-haired brands, and certainly there is lots to learn. And while there will be plenty of vying and backbiting and crying and bitching and moping among the contestants, we couldn't help but wonder what was either ignored or left on the cutting-room floor. Here are 10 things you almost certainly won't see featured in the epic, poorly dressed contest to become Paris' main plaything: