BREAKING NEWS

Osama Driver To Do Months Of Hard Time!

Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET

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  • A glorious victory in Southeast Eur-Cuba has just been reported! Salim Ahmed Hamdan, known popularly as Osama bin Laden's driver, because that is what he was, though prosecutors called him a "hardened al-Qaeda member," has now been sentenced to five-and-a-half years in prison. Since he's already done five years, he could serve as long as five more months. Great job, Justice Department! Despite the fact that there was a conviction and sentencing—just like in a real court!—"the U.S. government has argued it can detain Hamdan and other 'enemy combatants' indefinitely as long as the war on terrorism continues," as the Washington Post puts it. Hey, wow that is embarrassing to America.

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