You're Fired! And Guilty!

THE DEFENDANT Trump, OJ (inset) (Photo: Getty Images) • Trump Juice?: Executives from The Apprentice are said to be giving "thoughtful consideration" to a request from O.J. Simpson to be a contestant on the show's next celebrity edition, proving beyond a reasonable doubt that the Donald is guilty of press whoring in the first degree.

• Bubba burgers: For May sweeps, Rachael Ray is giving aspiring teen chefs the chance to run a temporary restaurant called Cafe Una Notte or Cafe One Night. They'll create the menu and serve VIPs patrons, including former President Bill Clinton. (Two words: Moon Pies.)

• Missing: Orlando Brown, co-star of Disney's That's So Raven has been missing since Tuesday morning, according to his manager. Brown was last seen heading to a 7-Eleven near his manager's house.

• Snack attack: The driver of a truck carrying individual packs of Jell-O overturned on a Florida highway, spilling the gelatinous treat all over the highway. A traffic jam ensued when several area women whipped off their tops and began spontaneously wrestling in the mess.

• Paul the apostate: Basic Instinct and Robocop auteur Paul Verhoeven, publishes a controversial new book on the life of Jesus, in which he claims, among other things, that Jesus was actually the son of a soldier who raped Mary during a Jewish uprising against Roman rule. Catholic League quote machine Bill Donohue sayeth onto Paul, "He should go back to Sharon Stone's legs."

• Why not "Hobot?": An Atlanta bar owner is raising neighborhood ire with his night-patrolling "Bum Bot," a 300-pound, waist-high, cube-shaped robot whose bright red lights, spotlight, infrared video camera, and water cannon he controls by remote to prevent against break-ins and robberies.