BARACK THAT ASS UP Spears, Obama (inset)
• Canvasing the area: Before a campaign speech at an art gallery, Barack Obama has aides remove a painting of Britney Spears's vajayjay.
• Threat level blue: Citing a threat to national security, Cyprus bans the Love Egg 2, a radio controlled vibrator.
• Rated R for butts: Content in having rid the minds of America's youth of sex and violence, the MPAA sets its sights on the third member of the unholy trinity: smoking.
• Generator: The Terminator franchise lives, with 100 percent less Arnold.