Meth Quest: Cartoonish British CNN correspondent Richard Quest is busted for being in Central Park after hours—at 3:40 a.m., specifically. In custody, he tells cops, "I have meth in my pocket," which is not banned by CNN's ethics policy but is good to know. You'd crank up too if you were the network's designated assclown.
• Trick or treat!: Ivy league member? Planning a scary Halloween costume in advance? Why not go as Yale's favorite leopard-clad alleged placentartist Aliza Shvarts?
• Everything but the Girl: CW won't stream Gossip Girl episodes online. It's cool. Someone with a YouTube account will post the good parts.
• Who will protect the littlest Libertine?: Troubled Babyshambles front man Pete Doherty has been moved to a segregated area of west London's Wormwood Scrubs prison after other inmates conspired to attack him. J.K. Rowling to sue Wormwood Scrubs for sounding too Potter-y.
• America's dower teen moves out: Seattle tries to re-gain its 1990s isolationist-cred by threatening secession from the union. "If we were a country, our economy would be just a little smaller than Thailand." said Mayor Greg Nickels. Aim high, mayor!
• Flip flop: So Obama's feeling kind of dogged but it's no big ... Whoa, did he just give Hillary the finger?!